I need a cigarette

So I've quit smoking cigarettes again, and I couldn't have chosen a more fucked up time to do it. I'm pretty much a wreck, and I can't help but feel helpless. I want to smoke, but I hate cigarettes with every fiber of my being. My emotions are running haywire, my inadequacies are becoming more of a reality, and I feel like my life doesn't matter at all. I'm a slacker, I don't do well at school, I don't have a job, and I have no girl. I'm starting to think that if I just left, maybe packed up all my shit and hit the road to nowhere, would it make two shits in the wind to anyone, would anyone even care that I was gone? Where would I go though? Gas is too expensive, and I doubt if I got somewhere that I'd be able to find a job. I'm stuck. I hate this feeling that I can't do anything to make myself feel better except slowly killing myself with alcohol, but I doubt that actually makes me feel any better. Fuck the world, it's never getting any better.